Artemis Fowl and the Aftermath
by NoHappilyEverAfters
Summary: Just over three months ago, Artemis Fowl the second was lying dead in his grave. Now he's back, and with his memories intact again, he starts off on a new adventure, to discover a different kind of magic. But how much does dying change you? And more importantly, how do you go back to who you were before? /The wizarding world has only just started its recovery,(FULL SUMMARY INSIDE.)
1. Aftermath

Artemis Fowl and the Aftermath

Summary: Just over three months ago, Artemis Fowl the second was lying dead in his grave. Now he's back, and with his memories intact again, he starts off on a new adventure, to discover a different kind of magic. But how much does dying change you? And more importantly, how do you go back to who you were before? /The wizarding world has only just started its recovery, and Hermione Granger has returned to Hogwarts to finish her education. After fighting death eaters, and destroying horcruxes, all she wants is a nice, normal year. But how can you survive in a place where your friends died? And how do you live with the fact that things won't ever go back to normal?

Chapter 1: Aftermath

* * *

Teaching is one of the very last things anyone would ever expect Artemis Fowl the second to do.

Writing books that are used to teach? Sure. But actually teaching is only expected more than things like professional sports or hitchhiking.

But Artemis Fowl is an unstoppably curious person.

And Hogwarts is an unpredictably interesting place.

Mixing the two is probably the worst idea of the last century.

…

"No, no, no, and did I say no!" Captain Holly Short of the LEP yelled.

"Now, Holly, you're just being unreasonable." Artemis Fowl scowled.

"Unreasonable?" She gave him a glare that could petrify a professional wrestler. "D'Arvit, Artemis! You were literally dead three months ago. I refuse to let you put yourself in this much danger, this quickly."

"I'm not asking for your permission, Holly." Artemis tried to keep his voice calm and logical. "I'm simply informing you of a decision I have already made."

She looked around the room, presumably for something she could knock some sense into him with, but found nothing except for Beckett's toys. "You were dead, Artemis."

He softened his tone, just a little. "I know. I'm not going to die again. There is relatively little danger in the wizarding world anymore, I've done my research."

"Your research says that a dark lord just murdered a ton of people, and that they just had a war."

"Which ended." Artemis said simply. "I won't argue this with you, Holly. I already have the job. I start September 1st."

"Teaching?" Holly asked, hoping to convince him to back down. "I can't see you as a teacher."

"Why not?"

"Because you're you."

"I'm hurt by that, Holly. I think I'd be a very decent teacher."

"But these are kids, mudboy. Kids don't like- ugh!" She scowled at him and turned away. "Besides, you're barely sixteen."

"Technically, I am already nineteen years old, a full adult."

"But you're not."

"That is not something I need to make known to anyone."

"You'll be younger than some of your students."

"I have gotten used to being younger than most of the people I am supposed to intellectually interact with."

"Artemis, this is an awful idea."

"Holly, I promise you-" He doubled over, clutching his stomach.

"Arty, are you alright?" She stepped closer to him.

"It's nothing. It will pass." He said, groaning.

After a moment, he stood back up, the pain gone.

"Has this been happening a lot?"

"Less and less." Artemis promised. "I believe I am still readjusting to the new body."

"It's been months, Arty."

"I know." He said. "I've gotten my memories back, and I am getting my life back, Holly. I refuse to sit here."

"I don't like this idea."

"I know. But I think it is something I have to do, Holly."

She frowned. "Anything goes wrong, anything at all, I will have you out of there before you can say abracadabra, or whatever it is wizards say."

"I promise."

…

"I still don't understand why you want to go back." Ron Weasley said.

"We missed an entire year of school." Hermione Granger replied. "Our N.E.W.T.S. and everything. If I want to do anything in life, I've got to go finish up."

"Harry and I aren't going back."

"Well, of course you two aren't."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know what I meant." She scowled.

Despite having restored her parent's memories to them, Hermione had spent her summer at the Burrow along with Harry. It let her pretend that something, anything, was going to go back to normal.

It had been a while since Hermione Granger had had normal.

"Are you going to go school shopping with me or not?"

Ron turned pink. "Yeah. Of course."

"Go wake Harry up and ask if he wants to come."

"He won't."

"Ask."

"I'm going." He went inside.

Ginny came out and sat beside Hermione after a minute.

"Mum's going to come shopping with us." She said.

"That's nice." Hermione said.

"It's going to weird for you, without Ron and Harry."

"It's going to weird not to have a crisis this year."

Ginny laughed. "Yeah. Last year was just a mess."

"Yeah."

"What do you reckon it's going to be like?"

"Hard." Hermione said. "Really awfully hard."

"I'm here." Ginny said.

"It'll be hard for you, too."

"I'm tough." Ginny smiled.

Ron poked his head out the door. "Harry's not getting up."

"Okay, let's go." Hermione stood. "Come on, Ginny."

…

Artemis had spoken to the Headmistress of the school about transportation, and considering the idea of both what she had called Floo Powder, or a portkey made him queasy, he had decided to take the train.

However, that was still three days away, but he had left home early and gotten a room in a tavern called the Leaky Cauldron, which did not exactly make him feel much better.

Holly had come with him as far as the tavern, shielded, of course.

When he was alone in his rented room, she unshielded.

"I'm shocked Butler didn't insist on coming with you." She said.

"Yes, it took a great deal of convincing." Artemis lied.

Artemis Fowl could be quite a good liar, but Holly Short knew him better than anyone. "You didn't tell him?"

"What would make you think that?"

"Artemis. Where does your family think you are?"

He scowled. "Taking a retreat. I didn't want to worry them."

"And they aren't going to tell you no, because you were dead, so now they're worried about you."

"And it is imperative that they don't know, Holly."

"Not even Butler?"

"I trust Butler more than anyone, but I don't want him to waste time fretting about me."

"He's just worried. We all are."

"I am fine, Holly." He said. "I am not made of glass. I am not fragile. Trust me."

"The last time I trusted you, you died." She snapped at him.

"I'm going to look at the shops." He tossed his bag on the bed, and left her alone.

…

"D'you know who's teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts this year?" Ginny asked.

"No." Hermione shook her head as they started toward Flourish and Blotts. "I hope it's someone good, to make up for last year."

Ron trailed behind them. "I bet it'll be someone bloody awful, who doesn't teach anything. Some Ministry bloke."

"What book do we need?" Ginny asked, ignoring Ron.

Hermione looked at her list and frowned. "That's odd."

"What?" Ginny asked, checking her own list. "What's wrong?"

"What is it?" Ron asked.

"The book." Hermione said. "I know that author. It's a muggle author."

"What?" Both siblings asked.

"A muggle author?" Ron asked.

"F. Roy Dean Schlippe." Ginny read. "The book's called Defense."

"It doesn't make sense." Hermione said. "Why is that our textbook? I've never read it, but this author-"

"What's wrong with him?" Ginny asked.

"Nothing." Hermione said. "It's just, he write psychology textbooks and things."

"Psychology?" Ron asked.

"What goes on in the brain. It's muggle science."

They stepped into the shop.

But when they asked for the book, they got the oddest answer.

"It doesn't exist." The woman at the desk told them. "You aren't the first ones to come looking for it. That book literally does not exist."

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked. "How can it not exist?"

The woman threw up her arms. "No idea. Your new teacher must be a wackjob."

They bought the rest of their textbooks and left the shop.

"What was that you were saying, Ron," Ginny asked, "about it being an awful teacher?"

Hermione sighed. "Let's go find your mum."


	2. Young People

Chapter 2: Young People

* * *

September 1st came quickly for Artemis Fowl. After he had stormed out on her, Holly had left and had not returned.

He told himself it was better that way.

When it came time to get on the train, he was able to find the platform quite easily, but that was only because the Headmistress had explained to him how to get there.

He made sure to get on the train early, so as to avoid as many students as possible, and sat in an empty compartment all the way in the back of the train.

He was aware that he looked like a student, because he still had the body of a fifteen year old boy, the result of three years in limbo, and then six months being dead.

He felt about sixteen.

Legally, he was nineteen.

Finally, students began to get on the train, hordes of them crowding into every compartment, although he was left alone for the time being.

His luck didn't hold, though. Right before the train pulled away, two girls poked their head in.

"Is anyone else sitting here?" The red-haired one asked.

He internally scowled. "No."

The brown-haired one took that as an invitation to sit down, so both girls came in.

"Hermione Granger." The brown-haired one held out a hand.

He shook it. "Artemis Fowl the second. I'm the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor."

Both girls raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't you a bit young?" The red-haired girl asked.

"I don't see why my age is a factor."

"I'm Ginny." She said. "Ginny Weasley."

"Pleasure."

Thankfully, a blonde-haired girl stuck her head in the compartment. "Ginny! Hermione! Come and sit with me and Neville!"

The girls both stood.

"Nice to meet you." Hermione said.

He nodded, glad for them to be leaving.

…

"And Ron thought he was going to be a Ministry bloke!" Ginny exclaimed as soon as they were alone in a compartment with just Luna and Neville.

"Who was?" Neville asked.

"That boy in the other compartment," Hermione said. "He's the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

"He seems very young." Luna noted.

"Younger than us." Ginny added. "I thought he was a fifth or sixth year. And did you see his clothes?"

Hermione nodded. "Wearing a suit. Muggle clothes. Maybe he hasn't changed yet."

"What's his name?" Neville asked.

"Fowl." Hermione said. "He said it was Artemis Fowl."

Neville shivered. "Of course it'd be a name that gives me the creeps."

"He looks like a vampire." Ginny added. "He's so pale."

"I was hoping for a normal DADA teacher this year." Neville said. "I almost didn't come back."

"Why did you?" Ginny asked. "You went to school last year. You didn't have to repeat the year."

"I don't think last year really counted, and Professor McGonagall said I could." Neville said. "Besides, I want to be an auror, so I think I should actually finish school."

"He must be very good." Luna noted.

"Sorry?" Hermione asked.

"The new teacher. If he's so young, he must be very good."

"I wonder why McGonagall hired him." Ginny said. "She's normally very sensible."

"Luna's right." Neville said. "He must really know what he's doing."

…

Artemis had an uncomfortable time with the carriage pulling horse-like things. Unfortunately, they seemed to love him.

Many of the students seemed fascinated by them, others horrified, as if they were some new addition to the school.

He found himself in the Great Hall and quickly took his seat at the head table.

The room was as you would expect a room called the Great Hall to be, with floating candles and giant ceilings.

A very tiny man, who was in the seat beside him, turned to him. "Are you Professor Fowl, then?"

"Yes." Artemis held a hand out to shake, and the man shook it. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Professor…?" He trailed off.

"Flitwick. Filius Flitwick."

"Artemis Fowl the second."

"Oh, yes. We've all heard about you, Professor Fowl. Professor McGonagall was very impressed by you. Very impressed, indeed."

"I'm glad to hear it." He said. "What is it you teach?"

"Charms." Flitwick said. "I'm also the head of Ravenclaw."

"Ravenclaw. That would be the table with the blue banners, correct?"

"That's the one."

Artemis smiled politely, and Flitwick turned to speak to a man on his other side.

"Professor Slughorn," He said. "This is Artemis Fowl."

Slughorn smiled at him. "Nice to meet you, Professor Fowl."

"And you." Artemis was tired of all this socialization.

Slughorn was looking at him curiously. "Aren't you a bit young for this job?"

He attempted an amused smile, although he imagined it was more of a grimace. "I've been asked that plenty. I'm nineteen years old. I know I don't look it."

"Nineteen!" Slughorn said. "That's still rather young."

"Are you suggesting young people are not capable of incredible things?" Flitwick asked. "After all, look at-" He sighed. "You know what I mean."

"Yes, yes." Slughorn turned away.

As the first years were lead in, Artemis started to feel a burning pain in his chest.

He had lied to Holly when he said that this was happening less and less. If anything, the frequency was increasing. He had a feeling he was lying to himself when he said he was just readjusting to his body.

…

The Gryffindor table felt empty without Harry or Ron, Hermione thought.

This year was going to be peaceful. Already the feast, and the most interesting thing was a young teacher in muggle clothes.

She watched as names were called and the first years were sorted.

McGonagall stood, although even she seemed out of place in the spot where for so many years Dumbledore had stood.

"Greetings, students." She said. "I will try to keep this brief, so you can all enjoy your feast. We are well aware of the events that took place all last years, and we are well aware that many of you took place in them. Many of you have lost someone. Family, friends, loved ones."

Ginny squeezed her hand. She must have been thinking of her brother, Fred, who died in the battle.

"But all of us here want you to remember that Hogwarts is, once again, a safe place. You are in no danger here. You are safe." McGonagall seemed unsure what else to say. "Enjoy your feast."

She sat down, and Hermione turned her attention to Professor Fowl, who hadn't seemed to be listening. Now that she looked at him properly, he seemed to be all but doubling over in pain.

"Look at the new teacher. Doesn't he look like he's about to hurl?" She asked Ginny.

"He does." Ginny said, seeming glad for the distraction.

Suddenly, Professor Fowl sat straight up, and began putting food on his plate, as if he hadn't almost been sick just instants before.

Hermione turned to the feast. "I missed this."

Ginny smiled.


	3. Going Home

Chapter 3: Going Home

Artemis ate very little of the feast, more because he preferred more high end meals than because he was in pain.

Once he was feeling better, he forced himself to start thinking about all possible causes for this mysterious pain. There was no doubt in his mind that it was caused by the new body, but was it preventable? Would it go away? Was it going to kill him, again?

Thinking about dying did not make him feel any better. He had gone to enormous lengths to save himself, and he didn't particularly want to die again.

Once the feast was over, the food vanished into nothingness. Artemis was a slight bit impressed.

The headmistress stood again.

"Now that you have all eaten enough, I would like to speak more in depth about the events of last May."

The room was silent.

"First, I would like to introduce a new member of our staff, taking over the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. Professor Artemis Fowl."

The other teachers around him motioned for him to stand, so he did. "Thank you, headmistress. It's my privilege." He sat back down.

When the headmistress spoke again, her face was grim. "Last May, the world was very different. There were many more people in it that should still be here. Last year, many of you went through things you should not have had to go through, and you survived. I do not believe there is a single person in this room who was untouched by the events of last year, whether you were here or not."

Except me, Artemis thought. I was dead at the time.

"Voldemort was the reason for all this suffering."

Many of the students, and teachers, flinched visibly at the name.

She continued. "I don't want you to be afraid of the name anymore. Last May, he was a threat, but now he is nothing. He was destroyed, because of the brave efforts of the students of Hogwarts. The Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore's Army."

A few of the students cheered at this, especially one older boy at the table with red and gold decorations. Gryffindor, Artemis remembered.

"And because of the efforts of a boy, named Harry Potter, who is rather like all of you."

More cheering, from all tables.

"For those of you who don't know Mr. Potter personally, I should tell you, he was awful at turning in his homework."

Laughter.

"He failed more than one exam. He missed plenty of class." She smiled. "Harry Potter is exactly like all of you. You all have the potential to do something great. This year, that is what I want you to remember. Voldemort, in the end, was not vanquished by highly trained aurors, or even an adult. He was defeated by a boy like you, who just wanted to protect his home."

Every person in the room was applauding, so Artemis joined in. Still, he felt like an outsider to this. He wondered why it was that that mattered to him.

…

Hermione found that she was struggling not to cry after Professor McGonagall's speech. Ginny was smiling, but it didn't seem real.

"Ginny." Hermione said. "You're head girl this year, you have to find the first years."

"What?" She jumped up. "Oh, bloody hell, you're right. First years!"

"I'll help." Hermione said.

After gathering all the first years, they showed them to the common room. Hermione had never been so glad to be there.

"It's exactly the way it was." Hermione said. "It feels like it should be all gloomy this year."

"It's perfect." Ginny said. "I'm exhausted."

"Sleep sounds nice." Hermione agreed.

They both walked up into the girl's dorm, and Hermione fell onto her bed, and right asleep.

…

When Artemis found his way to his own lodgings, which were uncomfortably small compared to what he was used to, he immediately started going through his bag.

He pulled out his fairy communicator, hoping it would still work.

It did. It seemed Hogwarts only disliked what they called 'muggle' technology.

Holly answered almost immediately. "What, Artemis?"

"This school is as fascinating as I imagined, Holly. Think of the things I could learn."

"Because _that's_ a great idea." She scowled. "Last time you discovered a species of magical creatures, you _kidnapped me_."

He frowned. "I thought you were over that."

"I am. That's not the point. The point is that you can't help but exploit anything new you come across."

"That's not me anymore, Holly, and you know it. I died because that isn't true."

"I have work." She scowled again. "Do you have anything useful to say?"

When he didn't immediately answer, she hung up.

For some reason, he wished she hadn't.

…

When Hermione woke up, it was the middle of the night, and Ginny was shaking her.

"Get up."

"What is it?" She groaned.

"Ron's in the fireplace in the common room."

"Like how we used to talk to Sirius?"

Ginny hadn't been there, but she'd been told.

"Exactly."

Hermione followed Ginny down into the common room.

"Isn't it a bit late, Ron?" She asked.

"I suppose. But any earlier, and Mum still would've been up."

"How's Harry?" She asked.

He sighed. "Same as usual. He won't get out of bed. Not even when George and I offered to play Quidditch."

"I suppose we shouldn't expect anything else." Ginny sighed. "He had an awful year."

"So did we!" Ron snapped. "We weren't laying around all summer."

"Oh, leave him be, Ron." Hermione said. "I was almost happy to talk to you."

"Sorry." He blushed. "How was the feast?"

"Hard." Ginny answered. "Harder than I expected."

Suddenly, there was a crash behind Ron. "Oh, Mum's up. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Ginny promised. "Go to bed."

He disappeared.

"You knew he would call. Why didn't you tell me?" Hermione asked.

"Because that was hard too." She said. "I want to go home."

"We are home." Hermione said, instinctively.

"Are we anymore?"


	4. Research

Chapter 4: Research

When Artemis woke up the next morning, he was horribly dizzy. Despite this, he forced himself to get up and go to breakfast.

It was a quiet affair, where he managed to speak very little, aside from being introduced to a man who was even larger than Butler.

After that, he went to the classroom, his classroom. It was an ordinary sort of room, the kind he'd been forced into time after time at all of his mother's ridiculous boarding schools.

His office was much the same, although it gave him a small bit of pride to not have to sit in a student desk.

His first class of the day was a group of Hufflepuff fourth years. He was glad, because that meant he could just recite from the textbook. To the seventh years, he had assigned a nonexistent textbook with one of his pseudonyms, just to see what they would do.

"Good morning." He said. "My name is Professor Fowl."

The morning flew by. After the fourth years, he had sixth year Ravenclaws, and then a group of seventh year Gryffindors.

He didn't speak until all the seventh years were seated, which included the two girls from the train.

"You are likely wondering why I assigned you a false textbook."

Most of the kids nodded or grunted agreement.

"This year, I could spend teaching you spells and magic, things you likely all know. Is there anyone here who did not just fight in a war?" He asked.

No one raised a hand.

"I do not think there is a single spell I can teach you. Thus, I decided not to bother teaching you spells."

It wasn't like Artemis could do magic, but he'd managed to bluff his way this far.

The brown haired girl, Hermione, raised her hand. "What are you going to teach us?"

Artemis nearly grinned, a frightening thing to have to witness. "Miss Hermione Granger, was it?"

"Yes." She said.

"What do you think you could possibly learn from me, Miss Granger?" He raised an eyebrow. "I've heard the name. They say you're brilliant. So, what could you possibly learn?"

"What sort of a question is that?" She seemed shocked. "You're the teacher."

"For today, I would like you all to start naming spells." He said. "Any kind of spell."

…

The new teacher, Professor Fowl was baffling. Hermione had had some pretty ridiculous teachers, but he was definitely in the running for the weirdest.

To start it off, he was wearing a muggle suit rather than robes. He couldn't be older than sixteen. He purposely assigned a fake textbook.

And now he was having them name off spell after spell, along with what it did.

Hermione raised her hand.

"Miss Granger?" He nodded at her.

"Are you old enough to be teaching us?" She asked.

"That assumes that you have to be a certain age in order to be able to instruct others."

"How old are you?" She rephrased.

"House of the brave, indeed." He said. "I am nineteen years old, Miss Granger. Well past your coming of age."

She scowled.

Finally, the class ended.

"That was so odd." Ginny said. "Do you think we'll ever do anything?"

"I don't know." Hermione shrugged. "But for some reason, the name Artemis Fowl sounds vaguely familiar."

…

By lunchtime, Artemis was so horribly dizzy it was getting ridiculous. He couldn't bring himself to stomach anything at all.

His next few classes were thankfully all younger students, so he was able to devote a larger portion of his brain to wondering about the connection to his death.

Although wondering is not really the correct word, because Artemis Fowl did not really have a sense of wonder.

Once he was done with classes for the day, he went to the library, which was nearly empty because no teacher had assigned first day homework.

He quickly found the section on magical illnesses, and pulled a large stack of books off the shelf.

Some of the books were rather heavy, and Artemis found himself wishing Butler was there.

Again, this is odd, as Artemis Fowl does not do much wishing.

"I really don't think we should bother, Hermione." The only other voice in the library attempted a whisper. "I think we should just let it be odd."

"But that name, it sounds so familiar, Ginny. Fowl."

Artemis realized that they were talking about him.

"Not to me." She said. "But what the hell. We should tell Harry about it. Maybe something interesting will get him out of bed."

"Doubt it." Hermione sighed. "I'm worried about him."

"Me too." Ginny said.

"Is Ron going to come to the fireplace again tonight?"

"Yeah. He said he would. About two in the morning."

The two girls left.

Artemis allowed a small part of his mind to wonder about the conversation and devoted the rest to the books in front of him.

Reading was not helping his dizziness.

…

That night, Hermione and Ginny didn't go to bed at all. They sat in the common room as everyone else got tired.

Neville was the only one left after a few hours. "What are you two up to?"

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked.

"You two are up to something." He said. "I want in."

So, they told him and when Ron called at two in the morning, he was happy to see Neville.

"Does the name Artemis Fowl the second mean anything to you?" Hermione asked.

Ron shook his head. "Should it?"

"No." She said. "Because I feel like I heard it years ago, before Hogwarts."

"Really?" Neville asked. "Where?"

"I don't know. That's what's bothering me."

"Maybe Ron could go research it." Ginny said. "Go to a muggle library and look at newspapers or something."

"Joy." Ron groaned. "Research."

"I'll do some research too." Hermione promised.

…

Captain Holly Short was in a foul mood, which, for once, was only partially that fault of Artemis Fowl.

Well, it was indirectly his fault.

If he hadn't died, it wouldn't be a problem.

And if he hadn't taken off to wizard school, and been such a child, she might've been tempted to call him and ask if he was alright.

Instead, she went to Foaly, who had literally been heads over hooves in work since all technology with Opal Koboi tech in it had stopped working.

"What's up, Holly?" He asked. "How's the mudboy?"

"That's why I'm here." She said. "I'm worried about Artemis."


	5. Magical Solutions

Chapter 5: Magical Solutions

The next morning, Artemis wasn't even able to stand, he was so dizzy.

He grabbed his fairy communicator and, knowing he would regret it, called Holly.

"What is it, mudboy?" Holly answered.

"I feel like death." Artemis groaned. "And I believe it has something to do-"

"With your death?" Foaly asked. "Yeah, Holly's had me looking into it."

"Any ideas, Foaly?" Artemis said.

"You're the genius who thought of bringing yourself back to life."

"And you're the fool who did it."

"Hey! I helped you."

"Any ideas?" He repeated.

"I think either you're just readjusting and it will end soon."

"Or?"

"Or you're going to die."

"That was my conclusion as well." Artemis said. "Do we have any solutions, temporary or not?"

"Don't die?" Foaly suggested.

"I'm serious."

"So am I, Fowl. That's all I've got."

"We'll figure something out, Artemis." Holly said. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I will be absolutely fine. Just find a solution, Foaly." He hung up.

He forced himself to his feet, got dressed, decided breakfast was a terrible idea, and started towards his classroom.

…

Hermione was the first one to Defense Against the Dark Arts the next morning. When she walked in, Professor Fowl was sitting at his desk, silently tapping.

"Take a seat, Miss Granger." He said.

She sat down, wishing someone else would show up.

Abruptly, he stopped his tapping and groaned, holding his hands to his chest.

She stood up. "Should I get Madam Pomfrey?"

"No. Don't." He said quickly. "I will be all right in just a moment." He seemed to be right, because after a few seconds, he laid his hands back on his desk and resumed tapping.

She sat down again just as Neville and Ginny walked in.

The class quickly filled up, and Professor Fowl was acting no odder than what seemed usual.

"Could everyone get out some paper and a pen now?" He asked.

Half the class sat in utter confusion.

He sighed. "Get a quill and paper."

When everyone had paper and a quill out, he continued. "I would like you all to write about which spell you find the most useful."

"For what?" Neville raised his hand as he asked the question.

Fowl frowned. "What's your name?"

"Neville Longbottom."

He nodded. "For living life, Mr. Longbottom. For everything you ever do."

Ginny raised her hand.

"What is it, Miss Weasley?"

"Will we actually be doing any magic in here at all?" She asked. "Because we all remember the last teacher who wouldn't let us do anything but theory."

Everyone groaned. Hermione smiled slightly.

"And what happened to them?" He asked.

Ginny grinned. "She got trampled by centaurs in the forest."

"There are centaurs in the forest?" He asked.

Everyone nodded.

"To answer your question, Miss Weasley, yes. You will be doing magic in this class."

"When?" A girl in the back asked.

"As soon as you are all done with your writing."

Hermione started writing.

…

Artemis thought of all the spells they had name before. He wanted to make them try something difficult, just to see if they could do it.

When everyone appeared to be done writing, he stood up from his desk, ignoring the burning pain in his side.

"Just turn those in on my desk when you leave." He said. "Does anyone in here know how to cast a patronus?"

A few hands were raised, including both Ginny Weasley and Hermione Granger.

"Miss Weasley, show me it." He said.

She stood slowly and stepped to the empty spot in front of his desk. She closed her eyes. After a minute, she said "Expecto Patronum!"

From the tip of her wand, a silvery horse appeared. It pranced around for a moment, then disappeared again.

"Very well done, Miss Weasley." Artemis said, even though he had no idea if it had been well done at all.

She sat back down quietly, as if embarrassed.

"May I ask, Miss Weasley, what memory did you use?"

"My brother." Her voice was a bit hollow. "When my brothers opened up their shop."

Artemis nodded. "Would anyone else like to demonstrate the spell for me?"

"Why don't you do it?" Neville Longbottom asked.

"And what would be the point of that, Mr. Longbottom?"

"So we could see how to do it."

"Are you suggesting that Miss Weasley did the spell incorrectly?"

"No." Neville said. "I just-"

"Then, there is no need." Artemis probably looked pretty threatening.

At the end of class, everyone but Hermione Granger left quickly.

"Are you alright, Professor Fowl?"

He found that he was tapping again, if he had ever stopped. "I'm perfectly fine, Miss Granger."

"Are that you sure you don't need Madam Pomfrey?"

"I'm sure. I am fine." He said. "Have a good day now."

"Have a good day." She said, and left.

His heart rate increased.

Because Hermione Granger's last sentence had had four words.

And four was death.

…

That night, she and Ginny met with Ron in the fireplace again.

"I didn't get a chance to research Artemis Fowl." He said. "I finally got Harry out of bed though."

"How's he doing?" Ginny asked.

"Bloody awful." Ron said. "Not even your weird teacher excited him."

"He just needs time." Hermione said. "Things have just started going back to normal."

"Nothing's going back to _normal_ , Hermione." Ron said. "Nothing."

"Oh, Ron-" She started.

"I'm going to bed." He snapped, and left.

"He's so frustrating." Hermione said.

"He is right though, Hermione. I don't think that normal is a thing anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the world went to crap, Hermione." Ginny sounded exhausted. "And just because Voldemort's dead doesn't mean everything got fixed. Not every problem has a magic solution."


	6. Dead Man Walking

Chapter 6: Dead Man Walking

The horrible dizziness disappeared almost instantly after Artemis' second day of classes. However, the irrational fear that he hadn't felt in over a year was back, and it had him nearly petrified.

He waited three days before calling Holly, on the hope that it was just his mind playing tricks on him. He was not so lucky.

It was a Saturday, and rather than using it to plan his lessons for the next week, he spent as much of it as possible in bed.

Before he could work up the courage to call Holly, he used to fairy communicator to call Butler.

There was still a spare communicator left at Fowl Manor from Holly's kidnapping, which was nearly eight years before.

Artemis frowned at this thought. To him, it felt like it had been only about four years.

Butler answered almost immediately. Knowing him, he had probably been carrying it on him since Artemis had left, just in case.

"Artemis." He said. "Are you all right?"

He didn't speak for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "I am not entirely sure."

"What happened?" He asked.

Artemis told him the truth about his random pains, and the dizziness, and finally the reemergence of the symptoms of his Atlantis Complex.

"Have you started counting your words again?" Butler asked.

"Yes." Artemis said.

"Come home." Butler said. "Come home right now, Artemis."

"I can't." Artemis said. "I'm too busy."

"Busy doing what, Artemis?" He could almost hear Butler scowl. "You're on a retreat. Your health is more important."

He was silent for a moment.

"Artemis?" Butler's tone changed. "Where are you?"

"I need to go, Butler."

"Artemis?"

He hung up, feeling a little guilty. He went outside for a breath of air and called Holly.

…

Hermione had spent her first Saturday watching Ginny run the Gryffindor Quidditch team try-outs. She attempted to do her homework, but that was impossible with all the shouting.

After watching for the majority of the try-outs, she decided she wanted to be alone for a bit, and left the stadium.

She started heading back to the castle, but she noticed Professor Fowl walking towards the forest, with his hand to his ear, like he was talking on a phone.

She started walking in the direction of Hagrid's, so she could follow him a little longer.

"No, Holly." He said, with a sigh. "No, I don't want to talk to- Hello, Commander."

Hermione frowned. Phones shouldn't work on school grounds. No muggle technology did. And why was Professor Fowl talking to a commander?

"I'll handle it. I don't need to see another one of you rambling psychiatrists, Commander. All the last one did was show me ink blots and write a book about me." He paused, like listening to a reply. "No, I am not joking. When do I ever joke? Would you put Captain Short back on the line?"

Fowl reached the forest and stopped walking, like he was afraid of it.

"Holly, just promise me you won't tell Butler." He said, scowling.

Hermione walked closer towards Hagrid's, in the hope that he wouldn't see her.

"Yes, I know I'm awful at promises. I-" He sighed. "Holly, it was one time, I- Holly. I know. But you also know Butler. He never trusted me to keep myself safe, which is reasonable, of course, and if he finds out, he will come to Scotland and drag me home. I can't leave now, Holly. I've hardly started." He waited for a reply. "Yes, I'm counting my words." He paused again. "Thank you, Holly."

He moved the object in his hand, and put it in his pocket. He leaned against a tree, and then slipped and fell.

At first, she thought it was just clumsiness, but then he didn't get up.

She ran to Hagrid's.

…

Artemis opened his eyes in the hospital wing with no memory of how he'd gotten there.

He went to sit up, but was immediately pushed back into bed.

"No getting up for you." The nurse, a woman whose name he couldn't remember, said. "You collapsed."

Artemis sat up again, and the woman scowled.

"I'm fine." Artemis glared. "I have a medical condition."

"And why is it that I don't know about it?"

"Because it's a personal problem." He said. "And I don't need help."

The nurse pushed him back down, and he complied.

"What condition is this?" The nurse asked.

He winced. "I have better trained doctors than you working for me. I don't need your help."

"I've dealt with worse spoiled rich boys than you, so I don't need your attitude." She replied.

"How did I get here?" He asked.

"Miss Granger found you. Hermione Granger."

He frowned. "How am I not surprised?"

"You shouldn't be." She said. "She's friends with Harry Potter. That boy, now, he was here all the time."

"Why is that?" Artemis asked.

"He was always getting himself into trouble." She said. "I can't disclose further, but you can't really be surprised."

"May I leave?"

"No, you may not."

He winced.

…

Saturday night, she and Ginny spoke to Ron for the first time in days.

Apparently, Ginny had gotten a letter from him the day before, asking them to come talk to him.

"Hey Ron." Ginny said, when he appeared in the fire.

"Hi." He said. "I finally went and did that research, Hermione."

"You did?" She asked. "Did you find anything?"

"Way too much." Ron said.

Hermione frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I went to a muggle library like you suggested, asked the librarian at the desk, and she laughed at me."

"Why?"

"Apparently Fowl's a famous name."

"Famous for what?" Ginny asked.

"Being rich. Also, he's apparently a genius, and dead."

"What?" Hermione frowned.

"About nine months ago, his family buried him, in Ireland. I found a news story about it. There was a body and everything. Then, about two months ago, rumors started that he wasn't dead, because five years ago, he disappeared and wasn't heard from for three years."

"How'd did you find all this?" Ginny asked.

"Research." Ron laughed. "I actually did research. It wasn't hard either. I've found hundreds of news stories on him."

"Is he a wizard?" Hermione asked.

"Not that I can tell, although I suppose he could be one who lives in the muggle world."

"My theory is that he's a squib." Ginny said. "We haven't actually seen him do magic."

"He does seem to avoid it." Hermione nodded. Then she sighed. "Why do we even care? It's not like he's doing anything."

"What's Hogwarts without some sort of mystery?" Ron asked. "We've never had a year without one."

"He's a dead man walking, Hermione." Ginny said. "Doesn't that interest you at all?"

She shrugged. "Maybe it's time to go without a mystery."


	7. Different Returns

Chapter 7: Different Return

Artemis spent every moment of Saturday, once he was released from the hospital wing, and of Sunday in the library researching magical remedies for every illness in existence. There had to be something that could help.

It was Sunday night when Hermione Granger wandered into the library. She saw him, and moved to the other side of the library.

On a whim, which was horribly unusual for him, he moved toward her.

"Doing homework, I assume, Miss Granger?" He asked.

"I'm just doing a bit of research."

"On what?" He asked.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I don't," he admitted. "There is something I do want to know, however."

"And what is that?"

He tried to ignore the number of words. "I keep hearing about Harry Potter. What exactly did he do?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I shocked that you don't know."

"I was a bit preoccupied last May."

"Preoccupied how?" She asked, like she knew the answer.

"Answer my question, and maybe I will answer yours."

"He defeated Voldemort," Hermione said. "Anyone could tell you that."

"But I wanted you to tell me."

"Why?"

"Because you are his friend. Because you were there."

"Why are you here?"

"In the library, or at Hogwarts?"

"Both."

"Research."

"Which does that answer?"

He tried not to wince. "Both."

"You were never a student here." It wasn't a question.

"No."

"Which school did you go to?"

"I think you know the answer."

Her eyes went big. "What do you mean?"

He winced again. "Take a guess."

"You didn't." She said. "Because you're a squib."

"A squib?" He'd read enough to know what the term meant and was suitably amused. "Interesting."

"Aren't you?" She asked. "No one's ever seen you do magic."

"I did have magic once," he said, honestly to his surprise.

"What happened?"

He smiled, a frightening sight. "You're supposed to be clever. Figure it out." If she was as clever as her reputation said, and he imagined she was, she was halfway to understanding.

As he went back to his research, he wondered why he'd gone over there at all. He had no reason to tell her what he had.

Part of the reason was obvious and hated. He knew it. He'd known it since he'd been revived.

He'd died.

And he'd come back different.

…

Hermione decided she didn't need to do research the instant Professor Fowl left her. She moved for the door at a speed that was just under bolting.

She nearly bumped straight into Luna as she rushed out.

"Hello, Hermione." She said.

"Luna, do you think Professor Fowl is odd?"

"Well, what do you mean by odd?"

"I'm not sure." She frowned. "Do you think he's dangerous?"

"I think he's probably ill."

"Why do you say that?"

"I was in the library yesterday because I thought I saw a Crumple-Horned Snorkack and I said hello. He didn't even look up from what he was reading. He was researching magical remedies."

"For what?"

"It seemed like everything."

...

In his first class on Monday morning, a seventh year Ravenclaw girl tried to convince Artemis that some creature was flying by his ear. He couldn't actually see it, but he had known fairies for too long to disbelieve things like that.

On the other hand, there was no proof that anything was there.

He had the Gryffindor seventh years right after lunch. He tried his best to not look at Hermione Granger as she walked in.

"Are you feeling better, Professor Fowl?" She asked as she walked by his desk.

"I'm perfectly fine, Miss Granger."

Five words, he thought. Five was a safe number.

He wanted to slap himself for even thinking it.

He needed to do something simple. He racked his brains for a charm or spell that all the students this age should know.

"Do you all know how to do a stunning spell?" He asked, glad he had a pillow in his desk.

A couple of nods. One or two kids shook their head.

"Would anyone like to demonstrate for those who are unsure?"

A boy raised his hand. Neville Longbottom, Artemis remembered.

"Go right ahead, Mr. Longbottom."

"Who should I stun?" He asked, standing.

"Any volunteers?"

Eventually a boy named Dean volunteered and Artemis put the pillow on the floor.

Neville said the spell, but it missed Dean completely, bouncing off the wall.

Artemis collapsed to the ground, again.

…

Everyone immediately freaked out.

"I knocked out the teacher." Neville said, much calmer than he would've been in previous years.

"Calm down." Hermione said.

She was surprised when people actually listened.

She stood. "Rennervate." She pointed her wand at Professor Fowl.

"Should we just leave?" Parvati asked.  
"Probably." Someone else said.

Professor Fowl started to stir.

"He'll be mad if we leave."

"He'll be mad that Neville stunned him."

Neville turned pink.

"Leave him alone." Ginny scowled.

"He's waking up." Hermione said.

His eyes opened with a start and he inspected the faces around them.

"Well, hello there."

"Are you alright, Professor Fowl?" Someone asked.

He laughed. "Oh, I'm not Arty. Although, I suppose he's in here somewhere." He tapped his head.

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked.

"My name is Orion Fowl. Has anyone seen my princess?"

"What?" Ginny asked.

"The princess." He repeated as if it were obvious, standing. "Have you seen-?" Suddenly, he collapsed as if he'd been shocked and fell to the ground.

Hermione was sure she saw a shimmer of light behind him but she blinked and it was gone.

"What the bloody hell?" Ginny asked, as everyone began to murmur to each other.

"I have no idea."

…

Holly Short was far past irritated. She'd been following Artemis around since he'd called her, and was worried that he didn't notice her because of his deteriorating mental state.

A complete relapse of Atlantis Complex was just the cherry on top.

Shocking him was partly for his own safety, but mostly because she really wanted to.


End file.
